Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Back in the day!

What do you do if you think "it" might have gotten away 25 years ago? You know, when you make a decision that you think is the right one, for all the right reasons, but then you have to wonder if you didn't blow it after all?
Every experience we live through teaches us a lesson and if we don't learn that lesson we will repeat that experience until we get it right. Why does that not seem to hold true if the experience was wonderful and we would love to go back? Funny, when I was young I was so certain that I would turn out to be someone so different from who I am now. I knew that I would change, and evolve and be completely different than who I was, but now I think that I really was just me all along. Often, we just need to get out of our own way, don't we? I couldn't accept who I was for years. I always thought I needed to be different. Thinner, smarter, more important. I could never be comfortable in my own skin.
Now, I am learning to appreciate myself. In my mid-forties, this is me. This is "it!" IT was never really out there at all, but rather, here within me. I may get thinner (or heavier!) I don't know if I am smarter, and important is really a matter of perspective isn't it?

So, back in the day I wanted to "be somebody." Then I spent years wanting to be "back in the day!" Today, I am who I am. I find out a little more about who that is every time I take time to look. Usually, I like most of what I see. When I don't like what I find, I am learning to either accept that part of myself or simply let it go. Wow, maybe I am getting smarter.

Until next time,

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